Breathing deeply, mind running, panic…

That’s after I knew I have to perform after giving birth. 
So how do you speed up recovery?

I usually hated my physical looks during pregnancy. But in this last gestation, I have embraced it silently with an underground agenda to strike back on my beauty regimen after delivery. Due to a temporary restraining order to the salon and spa issued for pregnant women (for medical reasons), I have waited nine long months of uncut, undone hair, dry, wavy and unevenly colored without any treatment till the ban is lifted, which also means I have to wait till my delivery. So it came as a shock to me to learn that my parents are having their 2nd wedding in a grand Renewal of Vows within the time table of my EDD (Expected Date of Delivery).

When they announced to move their 40th wedding anniversary a month later than their official anniversary, I still complained as I was expected to sing, dance, and entertain guests while being able to function as a breast-feeding mom. Perhaps because I have just delivered a baby, they have given me a little over a month to compose myself. After all, the obvious ravages pregnancy has done to the weight and skin of this panicked-stricken self- conscious mom required a stat overhaul. I actually told my parents to move the celebration 6 months later so I’ll be back to the usual me. They gave me 6 weeks.

So here goes the constant search to rid off pregnancy discolorations, running low on  dermatologist consults. I tried spa-hopping for an effective scrub offers, but all gave a shrugged shoulders with no assurance to magically vanish these displeasing masks in a month’s time. Unbelievably, everything now was on the go as I was able to convince my husband to sing with me the Twilight’s “Thousand Years” and dance to the medley of cha-cha and swing, which he had never ever done in years. Again, how would I be judged as a graceful partner of my dashing husband? I suddenly turned vain, my friend told me. Of course, my retaliation must come in full battle gear because my siblings and I am at the front line of a compulsory variety presentation for my parents. And front line meant all the scrutiny’s on us.

And literary so up front that I was tasked to give a welcome address. It was supposed to be just short, but I think my parents deserved more from me, not just for the panic attacks and the post-partum blues. They merit a good welcome speech from their only daughter as a sign of gratitude for rescheduling the wedding day (even if its just for a month), and for considering my condition, plus of course, gratitude for raising me with much love and concern. So I made one fairly nice short speech hoping to touch the listening crowd and not just a simple welcome greetings to the guests.













And I think I did well. After the show, the audience commended, and some couples who wished to renew their vows wanted to ask for a copy. Unfortunately, I only have one. I gave my dad my speech after it was over. They might love to review what I said to the crowd. 

As for the rest, I gave this blog site. Here’s the link: http://annasantosbonje.blogspot.com/2013/05/time-and-distance.html
Read on ..

(Welcome Address @ my parent's Renewal of Vows)

Good evening beloved guests and relatives. Our family is very much grateful and ecstatic in seeing you all so lovely and elegantly dressed in this occasion. Our celebration today means so much to us, to our parents most especially, and we are happy to share with you this moment of joy hoping to make this a part of your memory too as it is already a part of our family’s history, ready to be told to the coming generations as a brilliant example of love. Love beating distance and loneliness.

A lot of people may have asked why celebrate at their 40^th anniversary. Why not wait for a golden wedding? The answer is simple. We would like to enjoy rehearsing our groovy dance moves with our parents while they can still kick and sway. It is heartening to see them walk through the isle with an upright spine, smiling, while they still can remember the first time they tread the isle together 40 years ago, young, active, beautiful, happy but anxious and uncertain. Our parents never had this grand wedding celebration before, for they are not born with a silver spoon. But through it all, after all the trials God has given them, it is worthy to say that they have survived and succeeded 40 long years conquering time and distance, penniless or not.

My dad is the foundation of our family, though he used to say he’s an absentee father, my mom took his role while he is away sailing ships. She keeps us strong; she’s the one who holds our family together like the fist of an iron hand. While my mom exhibits an aura of a commander-in-chief that comes soaring high wanting to reach her dreams for the family, my dad is the calm wind beneath her wings that made it all possible. He always loves my mom so much that whenever adversities came along, he chooses to take mom’s side, never neutral. Everything he does was for her, even to this wedding day.

Indeed, our parents may have opposite characters but they complement each other, like sun and moon, day and night, coffee and cream, ebony and ivory. They are both best friends and lovers; they cannot stand without the other. They are the perfect example of being in love and happily married. And we, their children, are all aware that this great love they have for each other has always been a 40 years of God-centered marriage. They keep the faith and stand still. That’s why we celebrate today to thank the Almighty for giving them good health and a strong marriage, that no matter how much people would like to tempt and ruin this family, we knew that their marriage is made in heaven...

Allow me to end with this inspiring poem about love:

Treasure what you have... 

Time is too slow for those who wait; 

Too swift for those who fear; 

Too long for those who grief; 

Too short for those who rejoice; 

But for those who love... 

Time is Eternity.

So to all of you with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, and every moment that you spend together. We don’t know what the future may bring, but if we cherish, time and distance isn’t a barrier at all
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Good evening everybody, and welcome to this show of love.

(The story behind the making of this welcome speech is in this link: http://annasantosbonje.blogspot.com/2013/05/post-pregnancy-panic-attacks.html) ciao!
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           What's important in life is that we've met people along the way, enjoyed their company, made memories, and moved on. That when we grow old, reminiscing in our rocking chair, we smile and remember that we've touched each others lives one fine day and made us a better person. And that’s you to me.

Choices…options…alternatives… recourse…

Does it matter in the end?

Every now and then I am torn between two options.  Love versus career. Freedom versus commitment. Money versus family . Generalist versus specialist. And with this, every decision entails a sacrifice.

Why can’t I have both?.

Sounds childish, really. And selfish too. My friends think I seem to appear overindulge in that bratty side of me, though I’m not a spoiled bitch. They knew I am lucky to have a mom&dad-to-the-rescue type of family, but they also knew that sometimes luck is not just on my side. That’s how fair God is amid all the world’s biased disposition. He does not give most all at once, at least to me.

It only takes a matter of time to realize why things don’t turn out the way we wished for. Or why prayers have been left unanswered or delayed. And only to find out later that it is essential in sharpening our skills hence becoming a better person. We have been so hard on ourselves, trying over and over, just to be the best of the best. We have been chasing this race longer than we think,  always competing for recognition and prestige, which only matters to those who control the standard.

Honestly, I might grow tired of this forward-always-onward pace. Was it really worth it working our buts off upgrading to obtain peer acceptance into a certain society? Career-wise perhaps yes, but its never an assurance. We are always slaves of time and circumstances. There’s no easy way to success, no short cut.

In the end, ruminating in our twilight years,  as quoted by many, what matters is how well we lived our lives. It is not measured by how popular we are, how many titles we had, and how many sub-specialties we placed on our wall board. It is suffice to say that life would  have better meaning if we partake in someone's struggles along the way, put a smile in their faces, and touched their lives.  And lastly, to me, what matters in the end is how well my children have become, how good I am as a wife to my husband, how well my husband loved me, how I am as a sister, a daughter and a friend.

Our short stay in this world is a reflection of ourselves, not of how far we have achieved, but of how less we have regrets in our life, in the end.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said : “If you noticed, all the nice-looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What was all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began  eyeing each others cups.

Now consider this: life is the coffee; the jobs, money, and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Life is like a cup of coffee. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Live simply. Love generously. Forgive until it hurts. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Live uprightly.