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Anna Santos

windmils 
I have always been a hopeless romantic.
 
For a long time, I have tried to discover just what it was that I wanted out of love.
It seems for most people, they just want to find someone with a good sense of humor, someone they can relate to and have fun with. 

But that's not me. I want something more. 

I want someone who admires me deeply, so deep enough he is able to set me free, and allowing me to grow and gleam for my own. Someone who could understand my self-gratifying wishes, knowing this will pass, believing i could surpass this and hoping I'll outgrow this into maturity.

Perhaps I longed for someone whom i can talk to, about anything in the world in general. A person who could listen to all of my stupidity and just laugh about it. Loving every detail of my imperfections , tolerating, patiently considerate, knowing i am one delicate being…. that I must not be manhandled but be loved and cared instead.

I am tired pretending to be strong for all the make believe the world has to offer; of holding back tears when my eyes can no longer bear ; of not letting go of fantasy when reality is too much. Sometimes life gets so difficult to endure that all you can easily think is to give up. And yet, here we are. Looking for love, for approval, for companionship.

But what does that mean exactly? Let me alone be bothered. My mind is confounded with the perplexity of my heart, you might as well get confused with what i am trying to say. But should you try to decipher, then please hear what i am not saying. 

Perhaps I am never satisfied of everything when everything is already given. 

When would this end? ahh….the longing….and everything…

How stupid of me...really.
 



Photo credits: doc Peter Tabar
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6 Responses
  1. right doc! people try to decipher trying to get something from you that they thought would help them to know, care, and/or love you better. But that's the sad thing about it. Because the moment they try to decipher you, that's the time they block themselves from discovering the real you... libog noh..? lol


  2. PETIT Says:

    yeah right. i believe people must be spontaneous, not necessarily trying so hard because they might get the wrong interpretation and then turns out later that its not what we wanted or who we are.


  3. Anonymous Says:

    as i go into every words that you have writtten, its as if it was written by me, my unspoken words. i also have a blog..heart talks... and its caters to the emotions that can't be uttered verbally and only a heart can express. yes, i also am a hopeless romantic, having the same desire, and still unfullfilled. he may be around, but i can't have him, the irony of it. i hope we can meet and share some thoughts...http://araw.i.ph


  4. PETIT Says:

    @ Araw/Anonymous:just look at it at a different point of view, if the feeling is mutual, there's a way, you just have to pave the roads leading to your hearts desire. you see, blogging is a coping mechanism to unearth our soul's longing, the deepest wishes we ever wanted to have,or the frustrations of underachieving such hunger to be yearned and longed for.but its still up to us if we let these feelings be free.
    thanks for the drop. ill visit your blog.


  5. mattscradle Says:

    Hi nice picture. Was that taken in Ilocos. Best places to live in the world


  6. PETIT Says:

    yes matt, its in ilocos.. dr peter tabar took the pix. ive got permission to published it coz he's my friend. i still have not visited that place, but i am planning one of this days..


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