Anna Santos

(This 4-word Line, and Beyond)

How could I forget this line? I have once written this to a beleaguered soul one foolish rotten night. Perhaps, in keeping up a front, I defensively protect myself and try to squeeze my way out of that particular jam. Had I foreseen the gravity of complication, I should have cast the white flag and scream to the world to quit it and live their own shortcomings.

I was stoned in shock when this 4-word line was passed on from one person to another, reused in their testi/discussion board, like secretly conniving for some allies in the open world. Classic, isn't it? It is indeed tempting for them to distort the angst, or misconstrue the story. And in that futile hour, I stood desolate, helpless even.

Let's face it. The world will never get rid of bullies. Some people are much harder than steel, they never reach their melting point. If by chance they can hurt you, they will never stop mocking you even if the past is as far as 6 years ago, ebbing away. Perhaps, blinded by their stupid notion that they were the ones that were stepped upon, when in reality, it was just their baffled mind playing tricks on them. A mind, hovering with colors of false hopes, yet in actuality, nothing is really uttered, not even a promise.

I have seen this kind of effort done in bold strokes through well-written letters, pretending to be a fly-in-distress, who ought to be pitied, taken cared and protected, almost pleading for attention despite being aware of someone's present commitment. And when this being have been forgotten, appearing crushed by the pain from unreciprocated passion, a torrent of vengeance from a dysfunctional family came rushing to wreck havoc, hurting people along the way, especially those who were barely innocent and fragile. Whose rights have been stepped upon, really? After all this mockery from five "phooeys" and counter "shoot-outs", I could guess this one was never sorry to have shattered the trust of a delicate being by one's acts and still has internal conflict unresolved.

Despite of it all, I was in my most diplomatic tolerance then, and am in my maximum perseverance now. I have not gobbled half-baked pies, those were served whole, rather than a vengeful throng of lies from half-truths and half-imagination.

True, I may have revisited my past too, waved hi and hello, and fired a couple of unresolved inquiries just to put an end on wondering, which I could not have done bravely have I not moved on.

Our wound may be deep and painful. And traces of our past plus the slash of heartbreak takes a long time to heal. Worst yet, some scars remain forever. But in my experience, no one should ever expect gain from loving a person. Should we fall, we still have to move on.

The world is our roadmap, the "road is our catwalk", we may not know what route we may ride into, but we know where we are heading to. So, move on. I just hope their healing process have not transformed them into a bitter and antagonistic person.
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2 Responses
  1. kristine Says:

    Hi doc... i find it interesting.. and too deep... hmmmmmm un na lng muna heheheh luv yah doc...

  2. Billie K. Says:

    Great post. Insightful, and inspiring.



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